Horoscope

I love Tarot.com's horoscopes. Here's mine for today:

No matter which way you are swimming, the current seems always to be going the other way. It feels like everyone is working against you. Whatever you do, step around that all too familiar Piscean victim consciousness. You really don't have time or energy to waste on such selfish behavior. Everything is about to change and you need to be ready to take advantage of it.

Somebody, PLEASE, Take Me Away From HERE

I hate group work.

Have I said that before? Oh, a million times you say? One more time...I HATE GROUP WORK. I've taken the "not going to argue with you" stance and it's so much less stressful, except that I lose a little control over my grade. I just keep reminding myself that this is Pass/Fail, and then I ask myself, "Am I going to fail the rotation if I don't improve this power point?" No, of course not. How do I know? Because a 90 friggin percent on that crappy, no, not crappy, HORRENDOUS, paper I turned in. So, now what?

Breathe.

Then move the hell on.

Dragging

This last rotation is dragging. I don't even want to talk about it because I just want it to be over. Stuck in the middle of group work (ugh) and bored out of my mind. Blog's been dead because my mind has turned to mush, and I'm stuck in that moment where everyday you go through the same motions without much thought. When I have a list of things to do, I check them off one by one robotically.

Update the blog. Check.

First Year Grades

The academic year is over and most grades are posted:

4 Passes (Biomed, Pharmacology, Medical Surgical Nursing, Maternal Newborn)

6 High Passes (Pathophysiology, Nutrition, Pediatrics, Psych-Mental Health, Anatomy & Community Health - which is actually not posted yet, but I just got a 95 on the final, so I will earn a HP in the course)

& 1 Honors (Issues in Nursing)

I am surprised by these stats. In the moment of it all, it seemed to me I was only passing everything, so I didn't realize that I had gathered so many HPs along the way. It is not shocking to me that my only Honor's grade would be in Issues of Nursing. It was the only class that focused purely on writings about nursing and class discussions. There were no facts to memorize, and the majority of our grade (70%) was based on a final paper we had to write.

As I look at these grades, I am amazed and I am proud. I always feel like I am catching up to everyone else, especially those who spent all their lives in day schools, boarding schools, ivies, and the like, and those who majored in biological sciences and other health care related fields.

I am debating whether I will work one or two days at the library next year, or none at all. We had our pre-first year meeting at the end of the semester and were told we have 8 classes for fall semester. I am trying to imagine this. 8 classes, including: Research, Statistics, Advanced Pharm, Antepartum, Gynecology, Advanced Pathophys, Avanced Physical Assessment, & Professional Issues and Leadership. When I looked at the class line up from last year I noticed that last year the midwifery specialty's heaviest semester was the spring semester. They have pulled two classes from the spring and moved them up to the fall, so that the fall semester will be heaviest (credit-wise). That's a lot of classes. I really hope they are looking at the structure again over this summer and maybe will make some changes (ie: move a class back) because 8 grad level courses is really A LOT to have at one time. They are also adding a course onto the program that would allow us to graduate with both the CNM and the WHNP. More about why a CNM would want to do that later.

So, anyway, thinking about my course load next year, and my grades this year, it occurs to me that I can do this, which, no matter how many times I tell myself this, or how many times I do it, is always news to me.

First Day of Community Health Clinical

We, the students, arrived at 8am. What time did our preceptor arrive?

9:20, all surprised that we were there. I was so frustrated. And then she tried to be sly and ask us what our understanding of what we were supposed to do on a daily basis was. Huh? We don't know, why don't you tell us! She was so unprepared. And then she said she would only see us for the first few days and then would be taking a vacation for the next couple weeks. I asked "So, you won't be here when we finish this rotation either?" Her reply? "No." She didn't even know the basics of our schedule.

How can this be?

Another nurse, an RN, who made a much better impression than she did, is going to help us. You know what I think? I think the RN should get the title of *Ivy* Instructor and the pay, too. This is an example of my school taking advantage of a nurse. They are paying our preceptor because she has the advanced degree - even though she is not going to be there at all...while the RN gets nothing for her time - not even the right to say she officially precepted students.

My classmates are all over the place, in the states, in South America, South Africa, and New Zealand to name a few. I am starting to wish I were, too.

The street's blocked off.
Fireworks are being shot into the air - illegally, cause that's just how it is in Omaha.
My family is gathered and eating BBQ.
One of my best friends called me (it's her birthday today) and her life is good.
And my brother is having a blast, I'm sure.

I can not call. It would make me crazy.

Somebody kiss them for me.