Last semester I was selected (randomly) to participate in a writing workshop series (I posted about it here) headed by a prominent surgeon and writer at the university. But on the day the class was supposed to start I got the dreaded "maybe you're not cut out for nursing school" letter (this post and this one). So, of course, I couldn't attend because I was somewhere losing my mind over the situation.
Well, I had the unpleasant opportunity to meet this man a couple months later under the following circumstances:
We had a creative writing awards ceremony for which he was a special guest. The school rented this snazzy upscale old-money establishment to host the function. I arrived dressed well, as I always do, and volunteered to greet people at the door of the cocktail area with another student. Up comes this man who starts to talk to me.
Him: "You guys did a really good job with the place. Can I have something to drink?"
Me: "Sure sir, it's right in there." (pointing to the cocktail room, where he was headed anyway)
(At this point I'm thinking, he thinks I work here.)
Him: "Oh." -He stumbled a little, and I steadied him by the elbow.- "Thanks, gosh I need you to just lead me around all night" -chuckle- "What time will you be serving the food?" (or something like that)
Me: "Hmm. I believe they are serving it already, right in there."
Him: "Oh, you don't work here?" (Mmm hmm, I knew it.)
Me: "No. Actually I'm a student."
Him: "A student where?"
Me: "Here." (This is all I said because I'm thinking, this is a school function, what school do you think I go to?)
Him: "Where?" (I know, it's oh-so-friggin unbelievable)
Me: "Here. At the university."
Him: "Oh. Oh. Ok, I see. Well you have to excuse me, I'm an old man."
Yeah. OK. So after he excuses himself, a girl who had witnessed the exchange comes up and asks if I know who he is. She tells me he is the man who taught the workshop series and is a very important man, with old, famous books and such. I say "I don't give a damn" and she laughs. My frustration lasted only a few moments (free wine at the event helped me a little, LOL) and I truly gave this man the benefit of the doubt - old age + privlege can sometimes = true ignorance, and not necessarily racism.
But then something else happened:
We were assigned a reading for this special workshop we're having this Friday with the medical students. We were given two books of short stories with an assigned reading from each. The stories are supposed to be about power - how to appropriately use the power we are given as primary care providers. Today in class I was bored and needed something to read. I hadn't looked at the books yet and didn't know who wrote them, I just pulled out the first one and started reading the story assigned. The context of the story is that a black man comes into the ER escorted by police with a big gash across his forehead and non-cooperative. The surgeon is tired and in no mood for the situation. The police man are not doing a good job of keeping the man calm. Here are some excerpts:
"...A huge black man is escorted by four policeman into the emergency room. He is handcuffed. At the door, the man rears...Again and again he throws his head and shoulders forward, then back, rearing, roaring. The police man ride him like parasites. Had he horns, he would gore them...The man is hugely drunk - toxic, fuming, murderous, - a great mystic beast...his very wildness which suggests less a human than a great and beautiful animal...He roars something, not quite language..."
and on and on and on, until we learn that the doctor stitches the man's ears down to the table so that he will be still (or he will rip his own ears off.)
I cried when I read this passage. I thought, how is it that they can get away with assigning this reading. I know the excuse is going to be that we assigned something that would definitely spark discussion for Friday, and this piece is about power. But AT WHAT COST? There is ONE black male student in our entire school. How dare you?
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