Anatomy & Physiology TEST 2

Lecture exam this morning is finally over. Have A&P LAB exam Thursday, those never go well. The test got me thinking...all of this memorization is not helping me get ready for nursing school. Nursing school is about actually u-n-d-e-r-s-t-a-n-d-i-n-g the material and being able to APPLY it to everydaylife situations! I have got to figure out a way to change the way I approach A&P so that I will beable to translate all this memorization into real knowledge...But that's for later. Right now, I need to get a B in A&P so that I don't have to take A&P next semester in grad school ((this will give me Fridays off!!!))

No Turning Back

I mailed my acceptance letter and fee to Ivy1! I have yet to mail my "thanks, but no thanks" letters out...

A friend of mine got into several MA/PhD programs in organizational psychology - including the top three in the country and I am so excited for her, but her financial aid packages are PHENOMENAL. I mean OUTRAGEOUS. I mean FREE + yearly salary. How does this happen. At what point did America decide that they would pay people to be in Humanities, Social Science, and Biological (or otherwise "HARD" science) programs leading to a graduate degree, but not other majors? I don't get this at all. I know there is a "professional students will be able to pay back their loans" general argument, but, technically, so will a Phd in Biology, right? Maybe they think that with all the loan repayment programs, they don't need to offer us the same deal? It's frustrating.

IMPORTANT NEWS!!!

There is a new *FEDERAL* loan coming out for graduate and professional students! It is called the GradPLUS. It is similar to the current federal loans, especially the federal PLUS loan. Why is this loan wonderful?

1. It's federal, which means fixed interest rate and 10-25 years to repay!

2. They DO NOT use fico scores or credit ratings in the decision process!

3. The student does not require a co-signer and parental information is not a part of the application process (this is what makes it different from the original PLUS loan)!

The loan is still fairly new and not tested yet, but let me tell you I am THE perfect person to try it out as my credit has gone to hell.

**NOTE: There seems to be a caveat about not having a recent report of a current bill 90+ days past due . . . I will be sure to post when this loan becomes available (supposed to be NEXT MONTH) and my results after applying because I actually do I have late payments, although none recent**

Go here to sign up to receive the packet and be notified when the loan becomes available:http://www.edamerica.net/money/loan options/gradplus.htm

Go here to see a comparison sheet: http://www.wm.edu/financialaid/gradplusloan.pdf

3 for 3

I have somehow managed to get into all three schools I applied to. I feel weird. And still speechless. But this blog is supposed to be more about the process and less about my feelings for right now, so here's the update:

Ivy1: My dream school. I finally received the financial aid award packet and it is pretty darn close to being exactly what they said it would be, which is a HUGE relief!

**If you will review my "THE NIGHTMARE" post about financial aid, you will see what Ivy1 quoted for financial aid...I did receive *everything* they said would be available. The scholarship amount was raised by $70.**

Ivy2: They have also sent their financial aid packet, and it left much to be desired. One major difference is that Ivy2 classifies its first year students as "5th year freshmen" which significantly lowers your maximum allottment of federal loans in comparison to "graduate student" status. The difference in cost between Ivy1 and Ivy2 is also r-i-d-i-c-u-l-o-u-s. Cost of year one of Ivy2: $90,000.

Ivy3: I just heard word from Ivy3 and so I don't have much news from them yet, including a financial aid award letter. I was a bit suprised by my acceptance to Ivy3, as they were the school with the strictest policy on criminal background issues.

There is also great news for us professional students, which I will give its own post...

Oh to scream

would be divine! I want to go somewhere and scream as loud as my lungs allow. Not a grunt. not a loud sigh of exasperation, but a real gut renching scream. I feel choked on my emotions. Numb. Like I need to get it out but can't. I want an open field. All by myself. To just let it out. People keep asking me "aren't you excited?" And the answer is YES (of course) but I can't get it out. Not even a cry.

My first future-nurse diagnosis...shock maybe?

Speechless

My, my, my. What a 24 hours I've had.

I just spoke with Ivy1, and they said

"You're in. Of course, you're in. Are you coming? You're such a strong applicant, we really hope you choose us...?"

It was just like that, there was inflection and a long pause as if she were holding her breath for my answer...

This one is different. Yesterday I was ready to scream for the Ivy2 news. But right now, I'm speechless. Simply speechless.

I'm in! I'm in! I'm in! I'm In!

The "what if I don't get into any of them? blues" are over!!
I am officially accepted to Ivy2!!

OMG.

Yes.

Uh Huh.

I'm in.

I'm going to graduate school.

Wow.

Still in the running...

Ivy3 has emailed me. They were waiting on confirmation of a prerequisite that I submitted. My application will be reviewed for the second time next week. By then I will know about my first choice schools and hopefully it won't matter what they decide.

This week I am waiting (and I do mean waiting) on a call from Ivy1 and a letter from Ivy2.

I have an A&P lecture exam tomorrow morning (eww) and lab exam on Thursday morning (double eww).

What a week this will be...

Ivy3

All of a sudden it's deadly quiet with Ivy3. I know a few folks who have already received their acceptance letters, which leads me to believe I am not among those accepted...

The NIGHTMARE...

that is financial aid.

First, let me warn you that this may come off as a rant to some of you, but to others, it will make you shake your head in agreement and shout AMEN.

The basics:

COST of ATTENDANCE for year 1: $56,000
year 2: $42,000
year 3: $42,000
TOTAL for 3 years of graduate education: $140,000. Absolutely ridiculous. A down-right shame. And folks, this aint medical school. It's nursing school. Unless you're a CRNA, there is no six-figure starting salary.

Q: What could possibly be worse?

A: The school not providing an adequate amount of aid to cover the cost of attending. That's right, there aren't enough federal loans to cover this amount. In fact, here's the breakdown...

(FOR THE FIRST YEAR)

Federal Subsidized Stafford Loan: maximum $8,500Federal UNSubsidized Stafford Loan: maximum $10,000
Federal Perkins: maximum $6,000
Federal Nursing Student Loans: maximum $4,000Federal Workstudy: maximum $1000

Scholarship from the school: maximum $8,500
TOTAL ------------------------------>$38,000

So, what's left? ----------------------->$18,000

Where is it supposed to come from?

ME.

Yep, that's right, this is the portion that I am responsible for. Me, whose EFC is an absolute ZERO. (0). Nothing. Yet, I am responsible for $18,000 worth of my FIRST year of nursing school. What's the problem with this?

It eliminates people. A lot of people. Certain people. People like me. This is why *almost* everyone looks alike and comes from the same background. Of course I had to be the person to raise my hand and ask "Where do students get this $18,000 from?" (because I'm thinking it may as well be 18 million for all it matters to me) What was her response?

"Friends, family, & private loans."

OK. Friends and family are out of the question...but private loans, that might work.
Think again. Private loans are bank loans that require one to actually qualify for the loan. (think new car or mortgage) I don't qualify for these. 1. My credit isn't good enough. 2. I don't make enough money. But don't worry, the financial aid office is well aware that not all students qualify for these loans. What do they suggest? Get your parents to cosign. Hmmmmm. That would require my parents to be doing better than I am at the present moment...and as a first generation college student, that's not likely.

This is why there are very few low-income students in nursing school. And, because of how closely race and class are related in our society, this is also why there are so few minorities in nursing. Simply put, we can't pay for it. And neither can our families. But it's not only this, there isn't enough financial aid out there. Yep, I know how to turn over rocks, and I know there is usually stuff out there, if only we would look...but folks, I assure you I am a PRO at finding the money for school, but this has been impossible. Where are the grant programs for graduate nursing students? Where are the fellowships? The assisstanceships? You know the ones that exist for people in the "hard" sciences? A million opportunities for minorities who want to go into medicine, where are these programs for graduate nursing hopefuls? Yes, I know about the National Health Services Corps, but people in the first year of bridge/graduate entry programs do NOT qualify for this program...

Why doesn't the school have scholarships to increase the diversity of the student body? Why aren't there any merit scholarships? How can an institution say they "value diversity" when they do not have any financial programs in place to promote that diversity?
No, I dont have to go Ivy league. But answer me this, if I can go Ivy for the same price as public, why not get the name,prestige, and research benefits for my money? I am applying to a public school too, but out of state tuition at that school is the same as it is for Ivy 1!

In-state tuition is not an option as there are NO midwifery education opportunities in my state.

I am ranting, but this is also informational. If you are thinking about going to graduate school through one of these programs, know the cost. Figure out how you plan to get there, and figure it out early.

I will keep you updated as to whether or not I get in, and if i get in, how I plan to pay for it...

The INTERVIEW...

was amazing. It really was. I flew out on Sunday morning at 6 am and arrived a long 12 hours later - just in time for the first event of the interview session. That event, a gathering of students, was very laid back. We ate food they cooked for us and had drinks. The students really opened up to us about their experiences at the school and were very personable. There were a few minority applicants, which surprised me, but we didn't really speak to each other, which surprised me even more. The event ended at about 10, and I was glad to get back to the hotel for some sleep!

Next morning, rise and shine at 7 am! A shuttle took us from the hotel to the nursing school. We had a light breakfast, then followed this schedule:

9-10 Orientation as a big group (there were around 70 of us)
10-11 Orientation broken down by specialty (ie:midwifery applicants wet w/midwifery faculty)
11-12 Financial aid or break
12-1:00 Lunch with current students in our specialties
1 pm MY INTERVIEW with one faculty member
2-3 Financial aid or break
3-4 LBGTQ seminar or break
4-5 Diversity seminar or break

Throughout the day applicants had their individual interviews with different faculty members. they usually lasted about 30 mins, others (including mine) lasted over an hour.

The interview was great! We talked about my grades, my future plans, why I wanted to go this school over another school, about diversity/transcultural nursing, international opportunities, my research interests and how they came to be, and myriad of other topics that I never thought would come up. It was wonderful, I could have talked all day but, alas, it had to come to an end - as I was late for the financial aid session... I must give financial aid its own post...

Getting Ready

I thought I'd do a post about how I'm getting ready for my interview...

I have gathered all of the correspondence between me and the school into one tidy folder, including: the interview letter, my essay, my cv (an academic version of a resume), the maps and directions they sent to help me navigate the campus, relevant email messages (with the names and phone numbers of students to call if I get lost), and the bio. of my interviewer so I can know a little about her and possibly ask her a question about her research. In that same folder is my hotel reservation information, airline confirmation information, and limo transportation reservation to get me from the airport to the school. In case you're wondering, a limo service was less expensive than cab service and, in this case, less expensive than shuttle services. It would have been cheaper to take the local train service, but it did not have a Sunday schedule.

On the airplane I will read over my essay and cv because I expect the interviewer to ask me about whatever I wrote, and because I participate in so many activities and have so many goals, I really do need to refresh my own memory...

I have also practiced answering common interview questions that I gathered from the internet.

One of the most important questions I anticipate is "WHY do you want do be a midwife?" It seems like a really simple and straight-forward question, but in actuality it is a very hard question for me. Not because I don't know why, but because there are so many reasons, and also because I have simply always wanted to be a midwife - it's a feeling, something that is very hard to put into words other to say the very cliche "it's my calling." I could easily say that it is my "purpose" as I was recently asked what is my purpose (for being on this planet) but I really don't think someone's "purpose" is directly tied to a specific career, so I hesitate to say that my purpose in life is to be a midwife. However, I would venture to say that if I were not serving women in one capacity or another, I would seriously have to consider whether my life's work was, in fact, aligned with my purpose. Does that make sense? I know I left you hanging without saying what my purpose is, but that's because I can not yet articulate it...

Anyway, back to the interview, I am wearing a black suit with my favorite soft pink blouse (pink looks good on me) and a bare face. I mention "bare face" because I usually "put on my best face" (meaning flawless makeup) for an interview, but lately when I look in the mirror, my "best face" is my "bare face," and that is a good thing...

I've been checking the weather in my arrival city, and the rest of my wardrobe is being selected accordingly.

NOW, up until this point, everything has been pretty neutral and relevant to everyone who may read my blog, but here is something that relates specifically to minority nursing applicants & those of the majority who care...

I have researched the school's mission statement on diversity. I have compared what they say they value to the programs/events/activities/ & statistics that would show that they really do have a solid commitment to diversity. I plan to ask about mentoring opportunities in my interview. I have also read the somewhat limited body of research available about minority students in nursing school to anticipate the difficulties I might experience (there are some issues that have been recorded by many minority nursing students, including the way they handled/survived/& succeeded despite these issues) and to see how the school has dealt with these issues in the past, if they recognize them at all.

I hope this helps all of you future applicants get it together!

The cost of applying...

Ivy3 called, yet again. This time, they asked for clarification regarding my nutrition class. They want me to send a syllabus. I wish Ivy1 and Ivy2 would pay half as much attention as Ivy3 does... I also received a financial aid packet from Ivy3 - how discouraging. It read something like this..."no teaching assistantships"..."no graduate assistantships"..."no work study"...
ooooooooooo kay. Let's hope things go better with 1 & 2...

As for Ivy1, here is how much this process is costing me so far for this particular school:

Application fee: $65
Airfare for required interview: $225
Hotel accommodations for interview: $176
Transportation from airport to campus: $95 (campus is 1.5 hours away from airport)
Spending money: let's guess at $75.00 (I have to pay to eat for 3 days)

Grand Total: $636.00

I expect the same fees for Ivy2, less than a month from now. All I can suggest to you future applicants is to SAVE, SAVE, SAVE ahead of time. If you can't get the money together, call and ask for a phone interview - I know someone who was recently granted one, and the scheduler said that it was not an uncommon request.

Yesterday

was my first day of spring classes and what a long first day it was! It was weird to start out A&P with considerably fewer students than last semester, I guess they didn't pass. Seeing my study group was comforting. A friend asked me for some study group tips, and here is what I told her:

-One weekly meeting where everyone could attend (it wasn't mandatory, but people rarely - if ever - missed)

-Everyone has the same grade goals. We all aim for A's (we don't always get them, but aim for them nonetheless) funny, the people who didn't care to get an A, dropped fairly quickly...

-We all have different styles, which has proved to be very helpful:
*** is supreme note-taker (no one else takes class notes in our group)
*** is the detail person (she has to know "why" and "how" b4 we move on)
*** was the person who took the lab tests first (she knew what we needed 2 study)
I am the one who actually reads the textbook, and I do mnemonics

-We had detailed study schedules for the week leading up to the test (and a schedule for two weeks leading up to the final) which meant *less cramming*

-Someone who is the "back to work" time keeper, it is o-so-hard to stay focused and on task!

-And, there is always someone who is better at one thing than another person...the one who gets it teaches the one(s) who don't, and we usually don't move on until everyone gets it...when it comes to the studying from old notes and tests, we first check all the answers against the book to make sure they are correct, and so we have to divide up the work...therefore, lazy people would not make it in our group ;o)

In other news, SHAKESPEARE is going to be ridiculous. One play *every* week. 1 paper. 2 "midterms" and 1 cumulative final. Did I mention that papers are my thing and objective tests are NOT???

APPLIED LINGUISTICS is going to be easy and I can make it fun, but the content sounds like it's going to be problematic - already we're talking about "Ebonics" and "Spanglish" and getting into heated "THEY" & "WE" debates. And (surprise, surprise) I am the only black student in the class and there are no Latino/Chicano/Mexican/Puerto Rican students. Did I mention I hate my undergraduate institution for making this norm of my undergraduate career?

I also have a senior seminar class, but I haven't been to it yet...

As for tonight, I am off to read Shakespearean sonnets, chapter 17 in A&P, and drag myself to take a bath tonight because the apartment complex is turning off the water early in the morning so that the water company can service the pipes...no shower in the morning...ugh.

And yet another two weeks...

has gone by and now, finally, I have news...

I have been offered an interview! Ivy1 has sent a letter asking me to come to the school for an interview. I accepted (of course) and will interview this month!

Winter break is over on Monday and I am trying to enjoy my final few days of blissful freedom before classes start. Included in those classes is Anatomy and Physiology II and Shakespeare. I'm in no hurry to start, other than the fact that it's my last undergraduate semester. And, I am excited for my A&P study group to get started again.

Things should get a little more exciting next week when school starts...

2 WEEKS LATER...

Yeah, yeah. It's been two weeks since I last posted, but blame it on finals and such. I came out ok, but only ok. I am using this past semester as learning how to be ok with less than an A. However, I did get an A on my A&P final!!!!! Which makes up for the less than stellar grade I got in French (well, almost anyway)

I had yet more correspondence from Ivy3, this time it is asking me to *clarify* that I have indeed taken A&P, Microbiology, and Nutrition. I haven't taken Micro yet, as I was planning on taking it over the summer...still plan on taking that route unless they say otherwise. I also received word that more clarification is needed on my past criminal record. WOW. Can I just say that once you've paid the price, the sentence should be over??? No, No, No, I haven't done anything that would put others at risk. I just have a smudge that's several years old, but in my effort to be honest, they all know about it. Ivy3 is the only school that wants documentation, so now I must go to my local courthouse and get some! This process never ends - but I am happy to know that at least some precautions are taken before people are given license to take care of people!

Side note (rant) :

I have joined allnurses.com and spent the last couple of days perusing the forums. I must say I am a little discouraged by the negativity towards people in direct entry programs. It seems that most people have some serious opinions when it comes to these programs and lack of experience of the students...I had previously heard that nurses eat their young, but WOW.

A Call From Ivy3

Ok, so my third-choice school called me today! It turns out that I did the essay/essay question portion of the application wrong (ie. read "different") and they wanted me to fix it and send them a revised copy via email. Apparently, I was supposed to write a "goal statement" *separately* from answering the essay questions. AND, I was supposed to answer the essay questions in this form:

1. Type the QUESTION here
(answer here)

2. Type the QUESTION here
(Answer here)

ect.

What did I do? Well I wrote an essay. But not just any essay - a super essay! LOL. I answered all the questions in essay form and clearly (and cleverly might I add-----> thanks H.) embedded my "goal statement" within the essay as well. The woman who called me said that while my essay was "beautiful" and "glowing" they (the reviewers) really "won't know what to do with it" because it doesn't follow the traditional form. See, we applicants get graded on each piece of writing separately, and even each question individually. So the form above makes for easy scoring. What's my point in sharing all of this with you? Here it is:

I think this was my first experience with having to change my natural way of doing things to fit this more analytical/scientific/formulaic way of doing things. I am such an individual. Why must I conform and mutilate my essay? I rather liked the idea of having the review committee see my essay and say "now here's a person who knows how to move fluidly from one idea to the next in a coherent, almost lyrical, way."

LOL.

Yeah, right.

Let's be real...I am oh-so-happy that they called to give me the opportunity to fix it, instead of saying "Oh, she must not know how to follow directions" and leaving my application to chance! So I am off to break apart my piece of art that I worked so hard on and make it a glowing (albeit formulaic) new piece. Wish me luck...

A&P Lab FINAL EXAM

Here it is 1:52 am and we (my study group) are still studying. Our lab final is at 8 am. This will be my first final of the semester, and probably the easiest one - or at least the shortest one. At this point I am just grateful that it is only over one chapter - the Senses. So cow eyes, human eyes, inner/middle/outer ears, tongue, nose, facial bones, cranial nerves, etc. How fun. I think I have reached my learning threshold for this particular test, but of course I will study until everyone else reaches theirs too. God I hope they get there soon!

Can I vent for a moment about this process? Of course I can. In our class people play that game where they ask you "what'd you get?" Usually it's after we get our tests back, out in the hallway. I don't mind playing the game (I mean we're all in this together, right?) Wrong. Usually when I answer the question people are shocked. Sometimes annoyed. Sometimes jealous. Other times just down-right mad. Go figure. But here's what I wish: I wish they could be here to see this craziness that is our lives of studying for these tests. We haven't met too many students who could keep up with our study schedule. So it's not luck, there is no secret - it's just good ol' HARD WORK. That's all. Come study with us. It's 2 am now, and we're still here. You're more than welcome to come, but please bring some snacks.

Anatomy & Physiology...

is kicking my butt. This class is hard. Memorizing every bone and muscle in the body is nearly impossible. Not to mention the body's functions, etc. I am doing well, but only because I have no life outside of this class. What's working?

1) A good study group. Me and three other black girls formed a study group to combat the feelings of isolation related to being some of the very few brown students in this class of a few hundred students. IT REALLY HELPS to have people calling you to make sure you're coming to class, dragging you to the lab to study extra outside of class, and pick you up/congratulate you when you get your grades! (Also, I find it nearly impossible to stay up past 10 o'clock without at least one study partner. But with them, I can easily stay up until 1 or 2!)

2) Staying on top of the material. There is no falling behind in reading for this class, it will be hell to make up. As soon as you don't understand something, you must be viligent about finding the answers before the new material is added.

3) It's hard. Period. The best thing you can do to get over this is to tell yourself that YES, it is hard, but SO WHAT??? Despite what the stats. say about brown people and science, remind yourself, everyday if necessary...
YOU CAN DO WELL IN THIS (AND ANY OTHER) SCIENCE CLASS!

Waiting...

on admissions decisions is torturous.

Background:
I am an English major at a public university in my last year of my undergraduate program. I have applied to three Ivy-League schools for Midwifery- I will refer to them as Ivy1, Ivy2, and Ivy3. Ivy1 is my first choice school, and so on. I will also apply to a public university early next year. For the application process, I used the online admissions route for each school that allowed it (2 out of 3) and filled out the paper one with a black fountain pen - typing it was just too much trouble as it is hard to find a type writer nowadays! I had to pay the application fee for each school (between $50 and $65 per school) because *NONE* of the schools had fee waivers. I asked for my recommendation letters well in advance, as well as my transcripts. **I collected the letters from each of my professors and mailed them in myself** I had my essays looked over by *more than one* person that I trusted to be honest and critical.

What worried me most during the time before I sent in the applications:
Those darn GRE's!!!!! I was petrified of taking that test. I just never felt ready. My goal was 500 VERBAL and 500 ANALYTICAL, the WRITING I wasn't worried about. I read on one of the school websites that they found these scores to be "competitive," so that's how they became my goal scores. I studied for the math by memorizing the important formulas. I studied for the vocabulary by memorizing prefixes and whole vocabulary words, and also by simply reading more scholarly articles on the internet. I ended up going above and beyond my goal scores!

What worries me most now?
Getting in, of course. I am worried that my GPA isn't high enough to be competitive (it took me a minute to get serious about school). I am worried because soooo many people apply for sooo few spots.