Next Exam

Does it seem like I'm living exam to exam? You're not going crazy, it's true, I am. It's a strange month. I have a med surg exam Thursday. Yes, I had a biomed exam yesterday, and a pharm exam the Thursday before that, but who's counting? (I am, LOL)

I'm doing a lot of laughing. In fact, I feel loopy. Like I'm losing it, going crazy, smiling all the time like I'm drugged and don't know that I'm being hazed and that I'm supposed to be falling under the crushing pressure. LOL My friends blow me kisses in the hallway, one of us at each end with arms open wide, taking me in - "Oh you had bio med today, I just know you rocked it" with a sarcastic wink. Then they notice you're in your uniform and they say "clincal tonight, too?" - hugging me like I'm going off to battle - like we're in some ghetto version of a sweeping epic like Gone With the Wind. And you make the "I hate life" face and they say "have fun, 5 more weeks" as you continue walking, feeling blessed to have someone put the "just 5 more weeks" chant in your head. And then you turn around and yell, because you forgot to ask (this is how life is right now), "Oh shyt, how was your physical assessment check off yesterday?" And they toss their head back and laugh because they are a third-year and they no longer get stressed because they've already reached the maximum capacity for stress, so now they just go through the day with cheshire cat grins and drunken-ish sways - even if it didn't necessarily go well. Besides, what can they do about it now? They're loopy, too.

My med surg professor emailed us today. I know she's a little worried about the amount of information on this test, you can hear it in her voice when she talks to us, her boding tells me that I better not rest until Thanksgiving. But some idiot decided that we should have our 3rd pharm exam the Thursday we come back from Thanksgiving break, so really there won't even be rest then. At least I'll have some turkey and mac-n-cheese to snack on while studying. It'll be so much better than ham sandwiches or whatever else I usually eat in the absence of being able to bring cooked food into the library.

Can I tell you a secret?

(Of course I can, it's my blog!)

Here's the secret--------------> I'm loving it.

How insane does one have to be to love this madness? Who wants to have someone constantly reminding them that they don't know a damn thing about oncological disease, but, yes, your test is still on Thursday. Or, I know we didn't get a chance to cover universal precautions in MRSA patients, but, yes, it's still on your test, with a hearty helping of "I suggest you read up on that" at the end. I know that must sound crazy. But I am in love with being in charge of my own learning. I am in love with having to manipulate information until it no longer resembles what you thought it was supposed to. Building up a diagnosis (a nursing one, no less) and creating a plan of care based on that diagnosis, and then meeting the patient who bursts your bubble because while, yes, she knows cocaine is bad for her, no, she will not be taking your advice to go to rehab, nor any of your other "crazy" patient-teaching suggestions because she's a grown azz woman and doesn't want to hear your young azz telling her what to do. And, she "aint come in here for that noway." Now could you kindly give her an asthma treatment so she can get back to her 4 children who need their school clothes ironed, and her job - as a home health care aid, no less? Yes mam, I can. But first, let me tell you I know what "speedball" is, so let me at least tell you how to be safe. Did you know you can get free needles (up to ten at one time) at the pharmacy, without a prescription? "For real?" "Yes, maam, for real. So be safe."

It could have driven me nuts (last night's clinical), but, like I said, I'm loopy, and on a "this is what feels like to learn" high.