Average

My Maternal Newborn grade wasn't stellar, only average - like most of my work here has been this year. I always feel like like my head is barely above water, and every now and then I actually go under but come back up so that my nose is resting on the surface...so I can breathe, but barely...It's not fun to work so hard and only be average, in fact, it's maddening. And every (I'm guessing) midwifery student probably thinks they should get the absolute best grades they've ever gotten right now, in the Maternal Newborn section of this first year in the program...I mean, that's what we're here for after all...but that just isn't the way it works...learning takes on a whole new meaning when you realize you are really, seriously, going to be responsible for the stuff you're learning...it's not like Psych, where one says I will just try to absorb as much as I can that might help me in my actual field, but it's not the end of the world because, well, I'm not going into Psych. Now it seems I am obsessed with every single detail, like my life (or more accurately, the woman in front of me) depends on it (because it will), and so it is really, really irritating to be "average" because who wants to be an average provider? An average midwife? Certainly not me.