Remember when I was all excited about the new federal loan program for grad students? Go here to jog your memory: http://minoritynursingstudent.blogspot.com/2006/02/important-news.html
I was denied this federal loan. Supposedly as long as you had no bankruptcies or school loans in default, you were eligible (per final email before applying today) but this is not the case. I don't know what the requirements are, as there are many different "facts" out there, and they all say something different. So, there it is.
It's been a long, emotional day. I'm tired and I'm frustrated. Someone asked me why don't I just go to medical school today. My answer was "why don't you." My usual default answer is "because I do not believe in the medical model for pregnancy and childbirth" but today I didn't have the patience, nor am I in the mood.
I want to climb into a bed with real quilts and down pillows in a freezing cold room with the windows open.
I seriously want to cut off all my hair, but I'm resisting the urge.
1 comment:
"why don't you just go to the hospital to birth your baby?"
"why don't you just have a cesarean for your baby?"
"why don't you just let them [break your water; induce you; strip your membranes]?"
You are doing something that is part of what your heart is screaming about.
You do not NEED to do anything different just because there are bumps in the road!
There are women - the majority! - that will never birth their babies at home. These women need compassionate, powerful care in the hospital. These women are needing you.
You are best served by following your heart. It may be more painful, more "against the tide", more stressful...
But in the end, you have to answer only to yourself. :)
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